I feel like writing, but I have a competing need to HIT THE ROAD! We are in the last stretch to get home.
I feel very disconnected right now. Disconnected from the really neat experiences I had on the way out, disconnected from the ideas I was having, the inspiration I was getting, the direction I thought I was finding… disconnected from the horrible sadness at losing Lenny, and disconnected from the journey so far back home. I guess that’s grief. Feeling cut off from someone you loved. Feeling cut off from the piece of yourself that loved.
But I do feel the draw of home. And it doesn’t feel like going “back” home… because I’m not going BACK to any sort of usual routine or responsibilities. I will need to find inspiration there to move forward… or move at all. I think I can do that. Maybe this trip has helped me break old home habits. Or, to rephrase, maybe it’s helped me reset so I can establish new home habits. Will the power of the familiar setting be too strong?
ON other fronts, Benny has not peed in a single hotel room! AMAZING. I bet the first thing he does when we get home is take a clandestine pee! Love that boy!